Have To Be Completely Healed To Feel Good Enough
Have to be completely healed to feel "good enough."
This has been a multi-layered unconscious belief for me.
It's the reason I got addicted to healing. It's the reason why I stayed in this perpetual healing cycle.
It's the reason I kept bringing up shit I was working through to my partner, thinking I was just being vulnerable.
I was ALWAYS finding something to work through. (You know how frustrating that is for the people around me and to myself??)
ALWAYS trying to figure out "what was wrong with me."
Constantly trying to get rid of my ego, or shadow.
Thinking I had to clear all my insecurities...I couldn't feel insecure at all. (having insecurities is weak, and my partner will think im weak too.)
Creating this invisible goal line that I would constantly move as I got closer to it. I made it impossible to be completely healed and feel "good enough!"
"I will allow myself to have a healthy relationship when i'm completely healed."
"I will allow myself to show up, share my experience, wisdom, and gifts, when i'm completely healed."
"When i'm completely healed, THEN, I will be deserving enough! THEN, I will be good enough."
But, it was never good enough. I would always find something to heal.
I stayed in the Dark Knight Of The Soul, and in the shadow.
Although it wasn't serving me, It felt familiar in the chaos. Because having the healthy relationship was scary. Having the life I wanted was scary!
Having inner freedom and peace all the time, felt so f*cking foreign to me!
But, I don't want that anymore...I was making life hard. I was making my relationships hard. These are already challenging, but they don't have to be hard.
It's exhausting and draining to live in this never ending perpetual loop.
My guides reminding many, many, MANY f*cking times that it was time to step out of the shadow and heal by moving forward.
The Divine Feminine was like "listen f*cker, i'm tired of constantly trying to hold space for you which is the Divine Masculine's job. I'm tired of giving you ideas and not moving forward."
It's time to take action, and lead like you are intended to.
Then, part of a coaching challenge, it hit me. I felt it deep...raw. I made the decision to take FINALLY take aligned, imperfect action. To FINALLY heal as I move forward.
Facing the fears, the doubts, the worries, as I took each step.
I did the work before thinking I had to heal to feel more confident and powerful. What i'm learning, it's getting on the stage, doing the thing, where you face all the sh*t, and move forward, where the confidence is built.
Having the hard conversations. Taking action in spite of the fear. Showing up in your relationships. In spite of the gut wrenching fear, thoughts, knots in your stomach, wanting to run and vomit.
This is how you build deeper connections in your relationships and life.
You don't have to have it all figure out. Just f*cking start. Communicate along the way. Move through the sh*t. Grow. REPEAT, over and over and over. YOU ARE ALREADY GOOD ENOUGH!!
Does this one hit you deep? Do you feel it within your Soul? What came up for you? Let me know in the comments below.
Aaaaaaaaand......
If you are ready to go to the next level and and Re-ignite the 4 Pillars of Power: Passion, Purpose, Playfulness and Power to create a deeper connection in your relationships and life, there are a few ways we can work together.
1. Subscribe to my channel here for weekly content and stories to help guide you on your journey. https://bit.ly/3jLQmjq
2. Join one of my FREE Reignite Workshops
3. Learn more about and join the Conscious Connection Challenge https://bit.ly/theconsciousconnection
4. Learn more about the Reignite Program & Masterminds https://bit.ly/reignitethe4ps
5. Grab your FREE EBook on 20 Fun Date Ideas To Connect Deeper With Your Partner https://www.tonyfonte.com/fundates
6. Grab your Relationship Block Intuitive Healing Meditation https://www.tonyfonte.com/product-page/relationship-block-clearing
7. Book a personal guided intuitive energy healing & reading session https://www.tonyfonte.com/healing
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Music: Otis McDonald - Joe Bagale
Support by RFM - NCM: https://bit.ly/2xGHypM